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Australian woman explains why NYC men have the best dating game


Australian dating columnist Jana Hocking came to New York to observe how Australian men measure up to the “blokes” back home, here’s what she found…

This week I’ve packed my bags and popped overseas for my own attempt at an ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ adventure.

It started at around midnight a month ago when I was restless and couldn’t sleep. Life was beginning to feel like a never-ending groundhog day.

I was coming across the same blokes on the dating apps, going on the same boring dates with guys who seemed to lack the ‘seduction’ gene, and getting grunted at in my DMs by blokes mostly sending me “hey” messages. Snore.

So in a slightly reckless move, I jumped out of bed, logged onto a travel site and booked a holiday to New York, London and Mykonos.

I spent the weekend with some girlfriends who packed their bags for NYC years ago and have not looked back.

While there, something really stood out to me: New York blokes have got GAME! And not in a bad, f–k boy kinda way, more in a charming, ‘Hey, why not give it a shot’ kinda way.

As I perused a shop, I watched as a very stereotypical NYC bloke caught eyes with an attractive shop assistant and boldly said: “Hey baby girl, what you doing later?” BOLD.

Jana Hocking poses near a car in NYC.
Jana Hocking poses near a car in NYC.
@jana_hocking/ Instagram

She giggled and they continued to flirt for a good couple of minutes before exchanging numbers. Yes, I may have lingered.

Could you imagine this happening in Sydney? Nope, neither could I.

As I continued on down 8th avenue, a guy opened the door for me at the Starbucks, and later, a man struck up flirty conversation with me on the subway. Sure, these are small things, but I was in heaven.

As I spoke to the girls about my new-found love of New York men over brunch, all three agreed that there really is a lot to be said about their bravado.

All three of my girlfriends had come to NYC single, having, like me, given Aussie guys a proper go and feeling a little war-torn from their efforts.

One is now pregnant and engaged to a guy she met in her building’s lobby, another is engaged to a doctor she met on Hinge, and the other is having a ridiculously good time with a few guys burning up her phone.

So what is it specifically about New York guys that makes them stand out?

That’s an easy one to answer: confidence. Over the next couple of days as I watched these skilled creatures in their natural, high-rise habitat, I realized that they seemed to have a certain appeal.

This week I’ve packed my bags and popped overseas for my own attempt at an ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ adventure.

Jana Hocking said New York men have game because they have confidence.
Jana Hocking said New York men have game because they have confidence.
@jana_hocking/ Instagram

It started at around midnight a month ago when I was restless and couldn’t sleep. Life was beginning to feel like a never ending groundhog day.

I was coming across the same blokes on the dating apps, going on the same boring dates with guys who seemed to lack the ‘seduction’ gene, and getting grunted at in my DMs by blokes mostly sending me “hey” messages. Snore.

So in a slightly reckless move, I jumped out of bed, logged onto a travel site and booked a holiday to New York, London and Mykonos.

I spent the weekend with some girlfriends who packed their bags for NYC years ago and have not looked back.

While there, something really stood out to me: New York blokes have got GAME! And not in a bad, f**k boy kinda way, more in a charming, ‘Hey, why not give it a shot’ kinda way.

As I perused a shop, I watched as a very stereotypical NYC bloke caught eyes with an attractive shop assistant and boldly said: “Hey baby girl, what you doing later?” BOLD.

She giggled and they continued to flirt for a good couple of minutes before exchanging numbers. Yes, I may have lingered.

Could you imagine this happening in Sydney? Nope, neither could I.

As I continued on down 8th avenue, a guy opened the door for me at the Starbucks, and later, a man struck up flirty conversation with me on the subway. Sure, these are small things, but I was in heaven.

As I spoke to the girls about my new-found love of New York men over brunch, all three agreed that there really is a lot to be said about their bravado.

All three of my girlfriends had come to NYC single, having, like me, given Aussie guys a proper go and feeling a little war-torn from their efforts.

One is now pregnant and engaged to a guy she met in her building’s lobby, another is engaged to a doctor she met on Hinge, and the other is having a ridiculously good time with a few guys burning up her phone.

Jana Hocking said NYC men have something that other men don't.
Jana Hocking said NYC men have something that other men don’t.

So what is it specifically about New York guys that makes them stand out?

That’s an easy one to answer: confidence. Over the next couple of days as I watched these skilled creatures in their natural, high-rise habitat, I realized that they seemed to have a certain appeal.

It’s like they all subscribed to the theory that if you ask enough women out, eventually one will say yes. Plus, they actively engaged in conversation, rather then just barking on about themselves, and the eye contact, oh, the eye contact!

Ask any woman and she will tell you, that a guy can go from a five-to-a-10 with the right amount of confidence. Seriously, how many times have you heard a girl say: “I wasn’t really that attracted to him but he just had this sexy confidence.”

So, men of Australia, may I suggest you take note of your NYC brothers, and bring a little bit of this confidence to the table. And you know what, in the spirit of equality, I think we women should too!

Get out there and flirt properly in the wild, and if you’re feeling a little nervous, take a little of advice from our mate Aristotle, who came up with the notion that if a person would act confident then they will become confident. i.e: ‘fake it till you make it’.



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